Thursday, September 11, 2014

Titles What Ain't In WoW But Oughtta Be

"Mother / Father of Dragons"
Dang near anythin' from Song of Ice and Fire would work, reallies. "The Unburnt". "The Mountain What Rides". "Bloody Mummer". "Shits Gold".

"Fruit Vendor"
Awarded fer obstructifyin' leatherworking vendors in Shattrath an' other major cities.

"Evil Twin"
Because who's ta say you ain't?

"Fake Geek Girl"
Can you name the costume changes from Issue #247 ta #248, recite "Ode to a Grecian Urn in the original Klingon, beat the game in super-ultra-crimson-deluxe-challenge mode, an' threaten the manhood of entitled douchewaffles at cons? Then clearlies this be the title fer you.

"Collector of Useless Crap"
Five stacks of jaggal pearls? Check. Cloth fer ta level first aid on three more alts, 'cause ya never know? Check. Ripe Elwynn Pumpkins just in case Blizz removes the vendor what sells them next Pilgrim's Bounty? Got ya covered.

Is a scientific fact what 84% of heroes was members of the Avengers at some point in they's careers, includin' Batman an' Doogie Howser.

"Friend of the Grummles"
They sez I is one - who is Blizz fer ta tell me I ain't? If this were ta become a real title, I could bring meself fer ta forgives Blizz fer the Cataclysm expansion. Mebbe.


Steve Hall said...

I concur. Especially "Friend of the Grummles."

Tome oftheAncient said...

Definitely would love to wear Friend of the Grummles.

Redbeard said...

They should make the Fake Geek Girl title only open to MALE toons. Just to cheeze them off, you know.