Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Then And Now: The Way We Was

If'n ya reads this blog, then ya know what pictures of me an' the rest of the Team be kinda a big part of it. An' if ya don't read it, well then ya ain't readin' this an' so there ain't really no reason fer me ta done fini

 Vidyala had this post the other day where she had this pic of herself from the early days and a pic of her today self. I thought were kinda interestin', so I went an' dug through the old crap (includins the crap in me original blog, Diary of an Upwardly Mobile Orc) and found the earliest pic fer a bunch of us. Then I took a brand new pic of everybodies (without warnin' so nobodies had time fer ta go change an' make theyselves presentable haha!). Is a few haircut changes a lotta gear changes, heirlooms, heirlooms swapped, transmogrifyin', an' tranmopathy goin' on. We's like that.

Anywho, here we is:


Jan 26, 2007

There be me, jumpin' up an' down like a loon just 'cause I'd done made it ta the Stonetalon Mountains. Whoo hoo, a new zone. Way fer ta start the blog off with class and dignity, kid. Gear's changed, of course. Id done tried out some new hairstyles in Northrend but ended up goin' back ta me gray and braids look. Just felt right, ya know. What don't show is the miles on the feet an' the notches on the belt, but you buggers alreadies knew about them.


April 4, 2007

Ellspeth, the team's first 'lock. Puld her outta a Silvermoon orphanage an' set her ta work. Still the same hair. Still the same showin' off her skin. Still psychotic as a glubbernugger.

December 22, 2007

Me kid brother. We was inta 'locks there fer a bit there, weren't we? no real changes here.

Danger Mouse

January 9, 2008

Mouse. Still impatient, still a killer, still sportin' that natural dead hairstyle. She done hadda make a name change when she joined me on the Cenarion Circle serververse, but that be about all. And we still know what her real name is.

January 15, 2008
Me, transmogrified inta a dwarf priest. That's right, I were inta transmogrifyin' before it were cool. Over the names I done changed me official name in this form from "Ratshag" ta "Ratdorf", and I done lost the Santa Claus look fer a shorter, braided black-colored stylin'. Get fewer mice livin' in it, that way.

January 21, 2008

He's far too busy bein' profound fer ta actuallies go aware or do anythin'. But we loves him anywho.


February 15, 2008

Alayda the festive shaman. She likes fer ta change her hair every six months or so, so the blue topknow be long gone. Is currently a green mohawk. Still got her tusks though - Alayda be a proud troll beauty an' ain't got no interest in tryin' fer ta look like a elf girl.


April 15, 2008

Pali's come a long way in Cataclysm, in every respect. She's changed her appearance several times, but always ends up comin' back ta wear she started. 'Course, a lotta the time she looks like a big laser-firin' chicken, but we ain't showin' that today.

May 19, 2008

See if'n ya can tell what changed here.


June 14, 2008

The Red Hawt Dwarf Chick is still Red Hawt, roflcopter braids an' all, even if'n ya cain't see'em in this pic. What do be different is she started off prot an' now be fury fury screamin-like-a-loonie fury.

October 9, 2008

Kinna came on board right at the end of the Burninatin' Crusade, an' I trained her up with the hopes what she could be me replacement as the Team's raider. An' she done succeeded an' made me real proud. Changed her hair and got a lot tougher, but inside she's still that little lumberjack's daughter from Nowhereshire, Elwynn Forest what were taggin' along after me. How'd we get both of us in the same picture? That be a good fuhggin' question....


November 14, 2008
Requiescat in pace
September 16, 2010

Don' really feel like talkin' 'bout Vyp, just now.

December 21, 2008

Still the Death Knight of Loooove. Still sportin' that 70s pornstache an' drivin' the wimmenz of Stormwind .... elsewhere.

July 10, 2010

Heirlooms. Hard fer ta shake'em, although at some point they's gonna get transmogged inta Ruthless Gladiatiors. Not a lot's changed fer the team's only healer, although she been spendin' more time in BGs than dungeons of late.

The Warrior With No Name
August 5, 2010

Still sportin' a mustache so sharp it'll pierce his helmet. Still got no name, even though he done gone from bein' a lowlie bank alt ta GM of the Free Radicals.

Some of the Team members, especiallies thems what joined after the Shattering, don't really done gotten much attention here in the blog, at least nots yet. Mebbe some other time there'll be a retrospectalizin' fer Fink an' Creighton an' Goblin Hunter Boy (By Night Known As Fezziwhig) an' Justina Price Worgen. But that won't be today, 'cause then it would be now an' not then.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


Kinda sounds like a ride at Schlitterbahn, don't it? Mebbe I'll suggests it ta them. Anywho, to me point.

This happened a while ago, but I didn't talk about it then 'cause I didn't exist yet.

Molten Core. Molten Core went live on Day One, November 23, 2004. Back then, there weren't no Lothos Riftwalker. No attunement. Only way in were through the portal near the back of Blackrock Depths. So, ya hads fer ta fly ta .... where the hell them first raiders fly to, before Thorium Point were opened in 1.5? Anywho, ya flew there (no summoning stones, remember). Then, ya'd mount up (most likelies on a 60% mount), ride ta the mountain, dismount, walk down the chain, shlog yer way through the Dark Iron Dwarves outside the instance (what woulda been elite in them days, and onlies about ten levels lower than you), then shlog yer way through more dwarves inside the instance ta the bridge, jump inta the lava, swim ta the first island, heal, swim ta the next island, heal, until ya finally reached MC. Back in them days, the lava hurt. Ain't like now.

What about Ritual of Summoning? I wanna say what that didn't work in instances originallies, but that could be me memory playin' tricks on me. I ain't sure, and me research were inconclusive. Even if'n it did, ya still woulda had fer ta wait fer the 'lock and some buddies ta do the dwarvenshloggin', and then summon everyone, and then "oops not enough shards". And great googly moogly whatta crapton of a tax on warlocks. If it worked. Which I ain't sure it did.

So how long did all this take? I figger about half an hour, give er take, once ya got ta the mountain. Half an hour every raid night, killin' lower-level dwarves an' swimmin' in lava, not gettin' loot or DKP or honin' yer skills or doin' anythin' constructive or interestin' or fun. All because Blizz thought it was cool fer ta put an instance inside an instance. In March 2005 they realized it were a stupid an' put Lothos out there so's ya only had fer ta dwarvenschlog the once. BWL has a portal inside UBRS, but there were also the Orb of Command attunement available the day that went live (patch 1.6). Apparentlies Naxx were also gonna have a portal inside Strat, but that done got 86'd.

How many buggers did the full-on dwarvenshlog? Prolly not many, since it were only a few months and just levelin' ta 60 took a while. When ya looks at the amount of time it saved, Patch 1.3 were one of the biggest, earliest nerfs in the history of Azeroth raiding, yet I suspects when some bugger says "raidin' ain't the way it were intended fer ta be no mores" that they ain't meanin' this time-wastin' silliness. Nostalgia, she's a pretty piece of wimmenzflesh with legs what go all the way up, but she'll lie her arse off in yer ear if'n ya lets her.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Is Where Maurice Goes To Vortex Pinnacle

Hello beauteous ....

(Is it still a lady when it is just some gas wearing a few pieces of armor? The Dungeon Journal says she is? We are sure? Well then. Ooh la la!)

Hello beauteous lady. It is I, Maurice, the Death Knight of Love. Perhaps you have heard of me, yes? No? Ah, it is no matter. We are, after all, a very, very long way from Stormwind, where the ladies all know my face and run and hide and bar the doors, for elsewise their emotions would run away with them and they would swoon with unrestrained passion.

Tonight, my sweet artichoke of amor, you will be giving me your undivided attention. You will be unable to help yourself, for I have the Blood Presence, the Dark Pact, and the delectable Death Grip. I am also, of course, far more handsome than my, to be honest, rather crude and unrefined companions. So you shall have eyes only for me as they, regrettably, kill you. But do not be concerned, my scrumptious petunia of obsession, for what we feel for one another is True Love. How can it be less? And True Love can never be stopped by such a little thing as death. I know these things, for I am the Death Knight of Love.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

How Ratters Would Fix* LFR Looting

*Fix = Make It More Like How I personallies Want It

I likes me LFR like I likes me wimmenz: fast and furious and sloppy. Okay, that ain't really true. I likes wimmenz what be slow and sedate and fastidious, too. But I's tryin' fer ta make a point, so just roll with it here, you buggers. Point is, I likes fer ta get in, kick arse, mebbe get some loot, and roll on withouts needin' fer ta think very much, because I has hella lotta fun that way. What ain't so fun is havin' fer ta stop an' check if'n I wants a piece of loot or not. Even less fun is havin' fer ta listen ta the drama what so-and-so 'cause of reason xyz. But what be the least fun be knowin' what sometimes I don't get a piece of loot 'cause it went ta some fluggernubber just 'cause he feels 25g ta him fer vendorin' it > useful epic ta anyone else.

So, I gots an idea on how Blizz could fix it. Well, make it better. Okay, make it better fer me. Yer mileage be on its own. Assign each item a number of times what an individual adventurer can win it. Once they's gotten it that many times, they cain't roll need on it no mores never ever again. Typicallies, this number would be one. Rades made a strong argument what some buggers might legitmatelies want two of an item, just forged and enchanted different, fer they's two different specs, so I could see settin' the limt ta two fer some dps pieces.  Also two fer weapons what can be dual-wielded. Classes like pallies and druids, I'd let they's tier token limit go up ta three. Or mebbe four. Goal be, don't prevent nobody from gettin' stuff they's gonna use, but add a limits how bad the system can be abused. Hopefully then some folks won't feel they needs fer ta get they's panties in a twist over whether some other bugger "deserves" loot or not, and less bitchin' is always good.

An' I wouldn't have ta stop and think if'n I should hit need or if I already gots. 'Cause I ain't got time ta think.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Is Where Maurice Gets An Assistant

The Death Knight of Looove and Kwee Q. Peddlefeet, in cahoots. The wimmenz of Stormwind ain't standin' a chance now (so he tells me).

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Wisdom Of Ol' Sour Breath: Getting More Loot In LFR

Roll higher.




Off with ye!

Disclaimer: Views expressed by Ol' Sour Breath do not necessarily reflect the views of, Google, or their affiliates.

Monday, February 20, 2012

She Was Digging In The Wrong Place!

After overs a year of on-again, off-again strip mining Stanglethorn Vale and the Hinterlands, Phonicia done pretty much given up on ever findin' the Sword What Don't Exist, 'cause, well, it don't exist. She'd pretty much done hit bedrock everywheres, and were bein' sued by dang near every troll environmental group in the Eastern Kingdoms, with no lucks. Then yesterdays she were passin' over Tanaris on her way ta Uldum when she spotted something shiny in the sand. She dropped down fer a closer look outta curiosities, dug up a bit, and then, as one would expects from a fury warrior, especiallies a fiery red-headed beer-swillin' fury warrior reflecting upons the sudden appearance of an epic two-hander while she be lookin' fer ta gear up, she reacted in a way what was both sedate and dignified.

Hey. Looky there Deathwing. Is got yer name on it....

Maurice, Phoe sez you can does has it when she be done destroyin' some worlds. Then ya can pass it on ta the Warrior With No Name when yer through.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Danger Mouse: Danger In The Shadows

Hullo. I am Danger Mouse. I am Forssaken.

Transmogrification. Sseems like everyone's going flashy. Raid ssets. Arena setss. Sskimpy ssets. Glowing smoke. Glowing sskulls. Glowing glowingsss. All to be noticed.

Screw that. In my line of work, getting noticed meanss getting dead. Even more dead than I already am. So I went with plain, simple, dark. Perfect for skulking in the shadows. Easy accessss to my throwing knivess. And a couple of ssturdy, reliable weapons. They aren't flashy, but baby, you'll feel them.

If only the Crab would let me dual-equip eyepatchess it'd be perfect.

Head: Nethersstorm Eyepatch
Shoulders: Shoulderpadsss of Asssassination
Torso: Tunic of Asssassssination
Back: NO CAPESSS! Ah-ha-ha-ha.....
Hands: Handgripss of Assassination
Waist: Defiler's Leather Girdle
Legs: Leggingss of Assssassination
Feet: Sure-Sstep Bootss
Main Hand: Conifer Club
Off Hand: Lockbreaker Sshank

Friday, February 17, 2012

Is Where Alayda Is Festive

I love "Love is in De Air", mon.

Show me another holiday where ya get ta sneak up on people dat fell asleep in de bank an' stuff bonbons in dey pockets!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Is Where Ratters Looks At MoP Talent Updates

So I was reading the latest list of talents and this done caught me eye. Mainlies 'cause it were the first one on the list an' that's how far I got.

Vile Spew: Causes an undead minion to erupt in a shower of bile, dealing 249 Shadow damage to all enemies within 40 yards of the minion, and infecting them with Blood Plague and Frost Fever. 30 Runic Power.

Lemme get this straight. They does damage by barfin' on they's enemies? Now, far as I can see withouts actually botherin' fer ta read it all, no other class has this ability fer ta fight through gross bodily functions what make seven year olds giggle. Clearlies this be gonna lead ta much qq'in' about class imbalances on the forums, threats ta quit the game, an' some bugger bloggin "In TBC everyone got to do poop quests! But now only loldks get ta do gross stuff at endgame, and that's why the subscription numbers is down!"

So I thought I'd done spare Blizz all the troubles and help come up with a preemptive list of biological assault talents fer other classes. Here be what I gots so far:

Druid: Does A Bear Crap In The Woods?

Hunter: My Monkey Ain't The Only Poo-Flinger!

Mage: Arcane Shower

Paladin: Holy Flatulence of Divine Justice

Priest: Too Much Sacramental Wine

Rogue: Silent But Deadly

Shaman: Phlegm Shock

Warlock: And You Thought Ghoul Puke Was Gross

Warrior: Just Another Saturday Morning

What does these actually do? Buggered if I know. I cain't be bothered with the details.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Bueller...? Bueller ...?

Well, it started off close, but then that wascawy wabbit surged ahead of the kid in the Ferrari, cruisin' ta an easy 83 ta 20 win. Shoulda stayed in school, kid. Fer this weeks poll I's pullin' out a coupla characters I know a lotta you buggers would like ta see both lose. Well, too damn bad - I ain't givin' ya that option. Ya gots ta pick one, over in the sidebar as per usuals.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Is Where Danger Mouse Has A Busy Day

Yesss, the dead chick, the walking abomination in the eyess of nature, brought the gift of life. I hope you appreciate irony, you creepy Night Elf sspirit thing. Now tell that druid to cough up ssome gold or I might become bitter.

Flayers. They eat ground up rockss. They tassste like the mud pies I ate when I was two. Happy happy joy joy.

Orc! Fresh orc! Tasstess like.... orc! No demon blood, no rotted flesh, no mud pie. Plenty for everyone, but for ssome reason my companions didn't want any. At leassst they didn't decide maybe they didn't want to join up with the Horde after all.

It's been three yearss. It's time for those Kor'kron copsss to get their fasscist asses out of our Undercity.

I am in pain. 
I am an abomination. 
I am hated and feared and loathed everywhere I go.
Dark Lady, watch over me.

Holy crap. Sscrew it, Rattersss can come kill this one himsself.

This world sssucks. It hates me and I hate it. But it'ss the only world I've got, Mr Twilight Cultisst, and sssince you decided you want to desstroy it I am gonna mess you up.

Fuck yeah.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Is Less Than One-Thousand Three-Hundred Days Ta Go

So, the Universe done rolls a d100. Ya don't get fer ta see it - is behind the DM's screen. Ya knows that anythin' under a 97 (or mebbe a 95 or a 98 - you ain't exactly sure) means all is good, at least fer the next few months. But if'n the roll fails, is prolly death. A slow, prolly painful death, mebbe in a year, mebbe in ten. This be the reality the Tiz (aka Shianti, aka Julie) done has ta deal with every six months or so, when she done gets a full-body scanification, lookin' fer if the cancer done returned. I expects you buggers can understan' what how anticipatin' it an' waitin' a day fer the results afters can be a little stressful.

Good news be, this week's scan done showed no cancer. She's at more'n a year and a half now since the treatment ended, with about three and a half ta go until they stamp "CURED" on her forehead an' send her home with a lollipop. Won't ever be entirely home free - is always gonna be a tiny chance, an' even if'n it never comes back she's gonna have an' increased chance of heart disease an' whatnots, as a result of the treatments. But when that timer done reaches zero, or close enough, we's gonna have a helluva party.

Once again, we wanna thank every single one of you lot what has done expressed they's support, in any and all forms. Means more ta us than we'll ever be ables ta say.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Is Drunken Groundhog Day Movie Quotifyings

Danger Mouse: Thiss is one time where television really failssh to capture the true excitement of a large ssshquirrel predicting the weather.

Creighton: It's the same thing your whole life: "Clean up your room. Shtand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your shishter. Don't mix beer and wine, ever." Oh yeah: "Don't drive on the railroad track."

Alayda: I'm a god, mon. I'm not de God... I don' t'ink. ...hic!

Goblin Hunter Boy (By Night Known as Fezziwhig): If you gotta shoot, aim high. I don't wanna hit the groundhog. ...hic!

Kinnavieve: Ned, I would love to shtay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to.
Wait, is thish the day I break his frickin' jaw? Or is that another day...?

Maurice: I was in the Virgin Islandsh once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladash. At sunset, we made love like shea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over, and over...

Noggle: Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancashter?
Puffin: I don't think sho, but I could check with the kitchen.

The Warrior With No Name: There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps sheeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be shtopped. And I have to shtop him. ...hic!

Ellspeth: He... might be okay. KABOOM! Well, no. Probably not now. Hee hee hee, he ashploded!

Ratshag: This ish pitiful. A thousand people freezing their buttsh off waiting to worship a gunkerdubbin rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. Yer fluggernubbin' hypocritesh, alls of you! ...hic!

Groundhog Day. Best gumperflubbin' movie ever made about a rodent weatherman. Watch it with someone you love 547812 times tonight.

You Have GOT To Be Kidding, Blizz

So a friend done asked Phoenicia fer ta make her a Glyph of Howlin' Blast, which pretty much be essentials if'n yer a frost DK. "No prob" sez Phoe, "I's done researched everything," and whips out her spell book. Except .... it ain't in there.

Ya see, some glyphs ya learn from yer trainer. Most ya learn from researchin', one a day, fer about two months. Is tedious, but doable. And some ya learn from readin' a Book of Glyph Mastery. Which drops very very rarely off of random mobs. In Northrend. Has ya noticed what there ain't hardlies nobody killin mobs in Northrend no more?

Well, Blizz noticed, and last summer they done said in a blue post what they was gonna make these glyphs researchable too. Books'd still be there if'n ya wanted ta learn more'n one a day, but they wouldn't be needed no more. Sounds good. Except.... it never happened. Now, we gets a blue post sayin':

The Book of Glyph Mastery is actually a topic we've been discussing in our meetings. I can't make any promises just yet but can at least acknowledge that we're tossing around ideas for the book and for researching new Inscription glyphs.

Wait, what? Yer still discussin' it?  This ain't last summer no more - is Febura.... Feboo.... Frebarury..... bugger it. Is winter. And glyph books is still over 1000g a pop on the AH, and there's mebbe four of them. Is broken. Fix it already. Make the books drop in Cata zones, or let vendors sell'em, or make it researchable. Anything would be better than the silliness we gots now.