Alayda is Festive

'Allo, mon. Dis here be Alayda, and I'm a shaman. People always askin' me, Alayda, how you hurl dem lightning bolts from yo fingertips? And I tells 'em, it be because I'm a washed-up former Starfleet Captain.

Ahhhh-hahahahahaha.

A while back da DangerMouse said we had a partnership where I supplies her with ore and leather, and she don't kill and eat me. Well, dat be her version of t'ings. But maybe I just be fattening her up a bit before I throws her into da stewpot. Hey Mouse! You t'ink of dat, girl? Just puttin' some meat on yo bones!

Ahhh-hahahahha.

I likes Mouse, I really do. Life done gave dat girl a crapload of lemons, and she just got busy squeezin' out lemonade. Plus, she keeps everything all neat and tidy in our flat near da Crossroads. Before she moved in, t'ings was a mess - I was always digging t'rough piles of laundry and ice-cold milk jugs trying to find me totems and all. I be such a slob, mon. And Mouse bakes real good cookies too!

Thruth be, mon, I ain't dat ambitious. I don' enjoy da killings dat much, and I sho' ain't going to no Warsong Gulch. Me, I enjoys putting on my ghost wolf form, running across the countryside, listening to the spirits, feeling the wind in my hair. As long as I have an excuse to do dat, mon, I don' mind pausing to mine some ore or skin some zebrahs to help Mouse out.

Me, I liked Ratshag's plan of having everbody talk to da Elders to get the festive outfits. Dere ain't no troll Elders, 'cause we were all too busy perfecting da recipe for Gurubashi Cannibal Stew to be fighting da demons, so I was glad ta meet some new folks. And I like my festive dress - I t'ink it's nice to get out of dem dirty leathers and be pretty from time to time.

Speaking of looking nice, mon, have you noticed dat folks has been running da cities loving on the guards and giving dem presents and getting dey hearts broken? It's been crazy, I tell you. Especially in da Undercity, wit' dem abominations dey got dere. Well, it turned out dat dis crazy undead witch doctor was playing wit' da voodoo up in the Hillsbrad Hills, and spreading all these love potions. It turned out he was all upset 'cause his lady had died and stayed dat way. Well, I tracked him down and his lady's ghost and I convinced him to stay away from da voodoo. He had all dese sexy outfits he was planning to use for his next phase, and he said I could have one since he was all done doing evil plans.

And I took I red one and Mon! I looks hot in dat dress, I tell you. Just as sexy as dem pretty-pretty elf girls. And I ain't all needing ta eat some sandwiches, like some I could name.

So you wants to have some fun dancing with a sexy woman, you just come on by - I'm in a festive mood, mon! Just be careful if you decide to kiss me - wouldn't want to poke you in da eye with my tusk!

Ahhhh-hahahahahaha.
Bye-bye now!

Me Journey to the Clown Side is Now Complete

Helm of the Fashion-Challenged Defender. Bugger, I knews it were gonna look ugly, but great googly moogly! Is a good thing I can invisify it, since is a good helmet fer tanking (slapped the Solid Stars in it) as well as fer PvP and I's gonna be wearing it a lot.

Took a while to find one. None at the AH, and even though I's had the mats fer over a month, doing the "LF blacksmith" thing on the AH just got me crickets chirping. Today I finally found a guy what had the plans and a nether to sell, so I paid him ta bang it out fer me.

Bugger, it's ugly. And it disappearifies me beard! Fuhggit.

Safety First!

The Assault-and-Mana Battery Bitch just sent me this linkage fer how to be safe when you's sharing a very special moment with that tasty piece of feral druidflesh. I strongly recommends you check it out.

Thanks fer looking out for us all, Bitch!

Wait! What was that?

Apparentlies, there's gonna be at least a coupla daily quests soon fer this new faction called the Shattered Sun Offensive what you get a Shattered Suns Supplies box as a reward. Now, usually these kinda supply kits have some milk and crackers or other "nice, but no big deal" stuff in'em. But this one has a chance to include a Badge of Justice. Whoa. For those of us what ain't got a guild and really, really hate PUGs, this could be A Really Big Deal. As of yet, there is no hard informations on how often there'll be a BoJ in yer box, so I shall be watching this closely.

Ellspeth is Festive

Hi everybody! This is Ellspeth!

As my friend DangerMouse already said, Rats wants us to all get decked out in Lunar Festival outfits. Well, okay, she's not really my friend. She's just this creepy dead girl who comes to the team meetings, but the Boss says I have to be nice to her and not, you know, finish the job. Although she does bake pretty good cookies...

Well, anyway, the deal is you need to go talk to five Elders and they each give you a coin, and then you can portal to Moonglade from any capital city and turn in the coins and they give you a pretty dress! Which would be great except for this one small problem. You see, some of the elders are Night Elves, or the spirits of night elves, or something. And, well, Night Elves, they look at me like I'm some kind of mutated magic-junkie freak. Completely glossing over the fact that they're nothing but mutated moon-junkie trolls themselves! Sometimes, I just wish I could shadowbolt the whole world tree down, and dot up every one of those blue-skinned purer-than-thou retards as they fall out of the branches so that they die screaming before they hit the ocean!

Ratshag says he understands my pain, but could I please be a little more festive. Okay.

So, I really wasn't in the mood to go talk to these guys for the coins. Fortuantely, Rat's younger brother Gogmoth is a tailor, and he knows how to make the red festive dress, which I figured would look smoking hot on me. So I bought Gog some runecloth and what all, and asked him to stitch one up for me. At first he was all "Rat says not to make the dresses - everyone's got to go earn their own", which made no sense - why bother getting the pattern? So I argued and I used logic and I pleaded, but none of it worked until I worked my feminine wiles on him. It's amazing how fast some guys can become agreeable when all you do is flash your boo-

Rats are you okay? You're choking!

You're sure, hun? ... Okay.

So, where was I? Oh, yes. Gogmoth made this lovely Festive Dress for me, which I just had to try on right away. And that was so fun and festive, that I went and tried on some of the other outfits I had stuffed away in my closet. Don't I look pretty? Hard to believe I was melting faces off of ogres the day before. Okay, the oompah band one is kinda silly. But I like the purple hat, and Rat's already talked about how that nipple chain can come in handy.




Well, that's all for now.
Tootles!

Patch 2.4 Notes

The following items will become BoE:

Faceguard of the Endless Watch
Topaz-Studded Battlegrips
Black-Iron Battlecloack
Ethereum Nexus-Reaver
Ring of Reciprocity
Ripfiend Shoulderplates

And a buncha less important stuff. If ya wants to know what else, go visits a blog written by some bugger what can be bothered to remember the details.

Gnome Racing Porn

So there we was. Several hundred gnomes, most of us freezin' our fannies off as we stood starkers in the snow. I'd hit up a mage to transmogrificate meself and a goofy young Tauren friend from me guild. As a gnome I were calling meself "Ratgnome" and she were going by "RaceWinner". A bit optimistic there, but whatevers.

We was all fired up fer the Great Race, from Coldridge Valley to Menthanol Harbor. Why was we doing this? Buggered if I know - I can't be bothered ta keep track of the details. I just know we was gonna run.

The famous cat Hobbes and his dwarven minion were theres to be the celebrity race starter.

There we all is, hanging out while we waits fer the start. I'm the short one.

"Let's get this show on the road!"

And we's off. Listen to the thunder of lots and lots of tiny feet.

The more experienced racers were eager to share they's words of wisdom.

"I like livin dangerous"

Wolves attacking? "INCONCEIVABLE!"

For a bits we had a belf rogue in the midst, picking off any gnomes what had flagged theyselves.

Through the pass to Loch Modan! I's made it this far okay.

Lots and lots of cute little gnaked gnomies.

We all leveled up about the same point, just as we got down outta the pass into the Wetlands. It were like watching a fireworks show or sumthins.

Despites our new second season uber-ness, them Wetlands were a killing field.

I's startin' ta feel oozy.

Bugger, I's dead, and me corpse be way back there. Run, run, run. Hey lookies! It's me racing partner! Hows come she didn't get deadified?

Another casualty. I'd been keeping up with the pack, but once I started deadifying I were in the back with the other stragglers.

You can sees on the map just how far behind me partner I got.

Yay! I can sees the endinging point!

Is the post-race celebrating.

And the more celebrating.

Somebody thought it woulds be a good idea ta summon a Doomguard. Didn't see it happen, so I makes no accusations as ta who did it. Anyhows, we little gnomies had great funs pretending it we could hurt it. I hads ta leave soon afters, so I missed the portals to Shattrath, but I expects the funs continued well inta the night.