Thursday, October 2, 2014

What's An Orc Gotta Do Ta Meet Some Exotic Wimmenz?

Back in Rash of the Itch King, we done went ta a far off land and met us the Tuskarrs. Friendly buggers, they gave us fish an' let us stay in they's villages an' introduced us to they's ancestors. But did we get ta party with the Turkarr All-Star Wimmenz Bikini Team? Nopes, 'cause Blizz said they had finite resources an' couldn't do a second model within the budget.

Then in Cata, we done went ta long-lost Uldum and met us the Ramkahen. Friendly buggers, after we rescued they's prince, they fought alongside us and an' sold us camels. They had the curse o' flesh, but did we gets ta cruise the Nile barges with any bodaciously fleshy Ramkawimmenz? Nopes, 'cause Blizz said they had finite resources an' couldn't do a second model within the budget.

On ta Pandalandia, where we done met the Hozen who dependins on yer faction, was eithers on the verge of wipin' out the last of the Jinyu or bein' overwhelmed by the Jinyu swarms. Is a bit of inconsistancies in the story there, but I digressifies. Point is, they ain't got much of a life expectancy so they lives they's lives in overdrive. Can you imagine the funs ya could have bein' ooked in da dooker by a lady Hozen? But did we gets ta meet the Hozen wimmenz, or the Grummle wimmenz, or the Yaungol wimmenz? Nopes, 'cause Blizz said they had finite resources an' couldn't do a second model within the budget.

Soon we's gonna be goin' through the Dark Portal again, onlies this time is ta a different Draenor. Or the Draenor of the past. Or sumthin'. I's just a simple orc, I cain't be bothered fer ta understand time travel an' quantum stringy theory. Thing is, is a lotta budget fer new models this time. New orc models, new spacegoat models, new not-quite-so-pasty-skinned human models. Is even gonna be new clefthoof models. So surely is gonna be enough fer ta finally be a wimmenz ogre model, after 10 years an' four different male models?

Let's see. Got resources fer ta do this:
but fer ta make a new ogre model with (as me man Kevin Bacon would say) "long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up"? Or even jus' part of the way up? (I ain't fussy.)

Nopes, 'cause Blizz said they .... they said they ..... well, they didn't say. But with all the artwork resources goin' inta codpieces belt buckles the size of a small European nation, I thinks we can guess why.


Grimmtooth said...


itty-bitty art budget

Redbeard said...

Finite budget, my ass.

Notice that they managed to find time to update Draenei, especially the female Draenei. Which, ironically enough, happens to be very attractive to men who play the game.

And if they get around to updating the Shivarra, then you know that it wasn't the budget at all, but the sexiness of the model that was important.

Anonymous said...

Oh I'm willing to bet good gold that the Shivarra AND the warlock's succubus are going to get sexy updates too. Maybe it's easy to get their motivation up rigging those models?

LifeDeathSoul said...

Not sure if you played till talador, but the Arakkoa have female models.