I am Danger Mouse. I am Forssaken.
Last week was patch day, and mosst of us who aren't pretty blood elvess got new faces. It was a joyousss time, with cheers and fireworkss and glassses of champagne held high in celebration.
Fuck that shit.
I woke up that morning with eyes. Eyess! Me, the dead eyeless girl, with eyes! And not your happy happy joy joy I can sssee clearly now the rain is gone kind of eyes. More like looking through a pair of milk bottle eyes.
Ssuddenly, nothing worked right. I knocked things over. I equipped mysself with mismatched daggersss. I spilled a glass of Blood of the Innocentss. I went to pickpocket a Yuangol, and I slid my hand into the wrong pocket! It was like a scene from a ssteamy romance novel, with him going "yeah, girl, that's it, yeah, don't stop." It was ssso embarrassing that I vanished and ssnuck away, instead of killing him and eating his corpse.
Please, Blizzard, take away my eyes!