Sunday, July 31, 2011

Ratshag! Come Over Here!

Yes, Chef?

Your scallops were rubbery as [bleep], your risotto was burnt, and your murloc Wellington gave our special VIP guest a [bleep]ing parasite! Why on earth should you be allowed to stay in Hellfire Kitchen?

Because I's a [bleep]ing fighter, Chef. I never gonna quit on you, and I's always gonna come back strong after a bad [bleep][bleep]ing service. I ain't too old fer ta learn, and I knows what I can make you [bleep]ing proud. Now I knows I [bleep]ed up the [bleep][bleep] tonight, but I's gonna do better. Plus, I know there's [bleep] I can cook better'n any [bleep] here, even you Chef.

What in the seven hells can you cook better than me, Ratshag?

Broiled Englishman, Chef. Poached Englishman. Roasted Englishman with onions and gravy. Englishman turnovers. Englishman kabobs. Spotted [bleep][bleep]ing spotted Englishman dick, Chef.

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Right, get back in the line, big guy. Julian! You managed to set the pasta on fire! Tell me why I should let you stay in my kitchen...

6 comments:

Hatchetman said...

Just too [Bleep]ing funny Ratters... don't take nuthin' off that Tramsey fellah!

Saga said...

Omg, how have I missed that we have Gordon Tramsay in the game??

I hardly ever watch any reality shows at all, but there's something about Hell's Kitchen that has me coming back. (Maybe I secretly like watching Gordon rip into people?!)

Hilarious post though. You'll get those scallops right the next time..

Gamer's Fridge said...

Hahahaha! I love it!

Anonymous said...

OMG I need to roll horde!

Adam said...

You do know that Mr Tramsey's "inspiration" is Scottish, not English, right?

Ramsey Fan said...

Actually, while Gordon Ramsey is indeed Scottish, he was raised in England from the time he was 5 years old...makes him an Englishman in my book.