If RL Was An MMO: Sex

You repeat the same 4-6 moves over and over, unless you're a bear - they just spam swipe.

You need to tune out both 247 random strangers making "anal" jokes, and your spouse sticking their head into the room to ask if you're at a good stopping point.

In addition to a condom, you should always keep a flask, five potions and a fish feast in your wallet.

Someone will always criticize your equipment, or your technique. Or both.

Doing it with a priest is socially acceptable.

You sometimes get someone good by calling out "LFM!", but usually it's just freaks and weirdos.

If it isn't going well, you can just say "afk cat on fire" and leave.

You will sometimes need to get up and move to another location, because the bed is suddenly covered in green toxic ooze. 

At the end, you get a 15-second buff: "Orgasm: a pleasant sensation of release." You will know you have achieved this because there is a small icon in the top right corner of your screen.