Friday, August 14, 2009

Some Thoughts On Exiles

We orcs, we knows a thing er two abouts losin' yer home. Back when me dad were young, we had it made. Pictures a whole world lookin' like Nagrand, with big sprawling plantations worked by peons and broken. We'd drink mint julips on the veranda, and has Lost One Pie fer supper. At nights there'd be time fer a couple rounds of poker or hit-the-draenei-with-a-stick, or maybe go up North fer some ogre tipping. Were a good life, but we got greedy and went and invaded Azeroth, and that done didn't turn out so good.

But I were thinking 'bout some of them other peoples what ain't got they's home no more, and what ya can learn about how they handles it from what they's NPCs say to ya. And this be what I thinks.

Orcs:
"Strength and honor!" "Be safe"
Translation: We's lost a lot. Fight ta keep what's left.

Trolls: Trolls smoke a lot of ganja. Is damn good stuff, but it leaves them kinda.... overly laid back.
"Relaaaax" "How you doin', mon?"
Translation: I's high as a kite. No wonder I lost me homeland ta murlocs.

Gnomes: Done blew up they's only city and filled it with toxic gas and mutants.
"My, you're a tall one!" "You have a great day!"
Translation: We's wacky enough ta do it all over again.

Night Elves: Sacrificed they's home tree (and Peter Pan live forever gig) so's to give Archi one heckuva piece of wood. Good fer them. Then they went and grew a new one just like the first.
"Elune-Adore" "Tor ilisar'thera'nal!"
Translation: No fuhggin' clue.

Blood Elves: They's home got overwhelmed by a buncha brain-eating zombies and frankenstein buggers and nerboobies. Sucks to be them.
"Remember the Sunwell!" "We will have our revenge!"
Translation: We's pissed off, and we want everyone ta know it.

The Forsaken: Got turned inta a buncha brain-eating zombies and ate a buncha high-elf brains, which I guess made thems smart again. Or whatever.
"I haven't got all day" "Embrace the Shadow"
Translation: We live in a slime-filled sewer, and we're proud of it!

Draenei: Hijacked a spaceship, then crashed it inta Azeroth. Buggers woulda been better off workin' on the plantations.
"The Naaru have not forgotten us" "Good health, long life"
Translation: We's a buncha pathetic wankers, totally unable to take care of ourselves. We's fit only ta live in a wrecked ship, or workin' on orc plantations. Or mebbe barbeque.

Death Knights: not technically an exiled race, but they is cut off from they's former lives, and is pretty separate from they's original races. So I's going with it.
"We press on" "Suffer well"
Translation: Okay, this sucks, but it ain't gonna stop us from killin' Arthas. Gotta respects that.

So there it be. Me take on the various groups of exiles and the like. Now if you'll excusifies me, I gots ta go talk ta me realtor about some farmland in Nagrand...

7 comments:

Cap'n John said...

You forgot the Forsaken's best line:
Darth Vader watch over you.
I have no idea what Star Wars is doing in the World of Warcraft, but I love it :D

forthebubbles said...

Spacegoat Priest is not a pathetic wanker. :(

Bell said...

Bellbell: "Say that again while chewing on my Marrowstrike."

Badger said...

"Elune-Adoré." "Tor ilisar'thera'nal!"

I believe I can translate that for you:

"I love the Moon 'cause it lets me hide!" and "Can you come back later? I was humping this tree." Respectively.

Or, hell, maybe interchangeably, I dunno.

Kayeri said...

Hm... never considered myself clueless...

Fandral, however.... well, he's an entirely different story...

Jack said...

What are you Badger? Forsaken?
They simply mean we live in the past. Our present is our best efforts to relive the majesty that was our past, and our future a work to recreate it.

Quite honestly, if you interrupted my romantic interlude with a Dryad, I would not invite you to come back later.

Morane said...

I always interpreted 'Embrace the Shadow' as 'Come to the dark side - we have pie, brain pie but it's still pie.'