Sunday, August 2, 2009

Okay, Which Is The Pointy End?

Me and me guildies done run our first heroic the other night, Utgarde Keep. And when we had done fer Ingvar the Plunderable, we found on his broken and bleeding corpse this here crossbow. Now it were many years ago what I done learned how ta operate one of them dohickies from old Archibald in the Undercity, and I ain't never touched one since. Howevers, since I had me a skill of one and the combined rest of the party (a drood, a pally, a mage, and a death nugget) had a combined skill of zippo diddly, I got the loot.

Now, it ain't that important what I can hit the broadside of a barn when shooting, since I likes fer ta get all up close and personal when I's killing a glubbernumper, is still kinda embarrassins fer ta be tryin' ta pull a boss and not even get his attention 'cause me arrows is landing in the next zone. So I went and bought me a stack of he cheapest arrows I could find and went ta pay a visit on that bugger Dr Boom.

Instructions say fer ta mount it on a drake, but I thinks I's can handle it just fine on me own. Lessee, ya loads it here... or maybe here... or maybe in this slot over here. Okay, now we point it like this and gently squeeze the trigger... Ow! Now, we turn it around and point it this way and gently squeeze the trigger. Whoa lookit that go. Um, sorries there Anchorite Karja. Don't worry, I'll buy ya a new crate. And a new cat ta go in it.

Next arrow. Squeeze the trigger. Dang. Hope that Goblin rocket can still fly with that in the side...

Arrow. Squeeze.

Arrow. Squeeze.

Arrow. Squeeze.

Arrow. Squeeze.

Woot! I hit the fumpernugger!

Five hundred arrows later, I got me some moderately respectables at the skillifying. Great googly moogly. Next time we get a weapon what I barely knows, I's vendoring the dang thing.

8 comments:

Kayeri's rogue... said...

Ratters, come on! You are a warrior, you know that the pointy end always goes in the BAD guy... don't go hurting yourself with that thing... :)

My rogue has leveled her gun skill since she acquired a gun the same way you got the crossbow. The skill-ups are mostly from shooting spiders and roaches and stuff like that since there are far more fun ways to introduce yourself to enemies when they can't see you coming... :)

They do more damage, too... ::gleeful grin::

Kestrel said...

Maybe it's because I've spent the last 4 hours playing with CSS and php on my blog ("playing" being the operative word; it's not like I know what the great googly moogly I'm doing--kinda like you and that x-bow), or the ensuing headache (which may also be sinus-related), but your last line just busted me up.

@Kayeri: My hunter has one of those things; believe me, it's not easy to figure out the pointy end of a Drake-Mounted Crossbow!

StaggerLee said...

That thing looks well suited for hitting someone over the head with.

Thanks for a Monday morning laugh.

Cap'n John said...

Whenever my Horde characters got a new weapon that needed leveling up I always missed the Deeprun Tram and all its Rats. Those little balls of fur were always one of the best ways of learning which end of a new weapon was the pointy end ;)

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Jon said...

Classic Ratshag. Awesome.

Suptail said...

*groan*
I hates to think what's gonna happen once he gets a missile launcher.

Whenever ya needs a teacher on the finer arts of long range weaponry unknown to most orcs, Ratters, you know where I is.

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