Monday, May 4, 2009

Is Where Danger Mouse Doesn't Kill And Cannibalize Her Orphan

Helloooo.... Thiss is DangerMouse. I am Forsaken.

And you are a very small orc Ratters wants me to take sightseeing. Happy happy, I am a cheerful tour-directing abomination in the eyes of nature. I don't understand why I am doing this - you'll be dead someday, and then none of this will have mattered.

Yes, I will improve my reputation with the Horde factions, but why should I care? So someday I can get a kodo mount? Fegh! Kodos smell funny.

What? Watch it, kid, or we'll find out how great you smell when you're dead!

Yess, this is the dockss for the booming metropolis of Ratchet. Ratters says on sslow days, the Booty Bay whores come over to drum up ssome businesss. I suppose being young and male and breathing you'll be wanting ssome of-

No? Well, don't wait too long little orc. Ssoon enough you'll be dead, and then it will be too late.

This is the Mor'shan Rampart. And yes, it keepss all you little Hordelings ssafe, except for that gaping hole fifty yards to the East that the patrols never check for ssneaky Night Elvess...

No, you can't ssit in on the Lordaeron throne. Only we Forsaken are allowed to. Yess, I'm sure there's a rule about it, ssomewhere. You got a problem with that, short stuff, go pesster Sylvanass.

Okay, yeah, thiss ice cream is pretty good. Kind of ssparkly, even. No, you can't have any more. You want more icce cream? Go get your own orphan.

Yess, Cairne, I'm ssure the little rugrat wanted your hoofprint, so could you please jusst step on his chesst? No, he'll be fine - those orcss are tough, you know.

Fine, sstep on a piece of paper piece of paper and I'll give it to him. I suppose that will have to do...

So, here we are, back at the orphanage. Go be a good little orc. I hope thiss wasn't as boring for you as it wass for me. And kid? Embrace the Sshadow, for someday ssoon it will embrace you.


Khol Drake said...

Not that Mouse isn't the most trustworthy of soulless abominations, but you have to wonder about the orphanage that loans her a kidlet to shepherd around for a week. Does the Horde have a DHS?

Misneach said...

Quite possibly your best post title ever.

Cathy said...

Yeah, I had to get rid of my orphan. He took pillar humping in arena literally. Had to use a crowbar to get him off the pillar. What an embarrassment hehehe.

Great post:)