Before I begin, I would like to take a moment and thank the estimable Mr. Shag for graciously allowing me to use his blog. Despite what some people say, I find him to be a generous and capable orc. He has deflected many a blow on my behalf and I am grateful.
That said, I want to climb upon this virtual soapbox and decry a practice that too many observe, an offense upon my people that has gone on too long unremarked. Trolls are the victims of a stereotype, a caricature of a provincial island cannibal who prefers the letter “d” over most any other in the alphabet. If the slander is to be believed, then we trolls are little better than baby-eating hicks. What is particularly shocking is that this prejudice festers among the Horde. One expects little better from the Alliance, but not from one’s compatriots.
I want to state unequivocally that nothing could be farther from the truth. We are an educated, accomplished people. I have advanced degrees in pyrotechnics and applied arcanery. I eat vegetables. My diction is as clear and precise as any blood elf you care to name. And I am hardly a statistical anomaly. I travel in the company of a troll woman whose grasp of metaphysics rivals that of the priests sequestered in the Stormwind Cathedral. At least, I believe that is the case. Most of those priests try to kill us, so I haven’t had an opportunity to compare before I burn them to ash.
It is true that my people have a checkered past. Our ancestors did eat the occasional night elf. They worshipped animal spirits and made bloody sacrifices to honor and appease them. But they lived in a harsh world. They had to make do with what circumstance offered them. In all fairness, they were also excellent dancers.
I urge you to take the time to get to know a troll. Have a conversation. Try the excellent gumbo. Shake a fetish stick and hop in a circle under a full moon. You will be glad you did.
But if I hear another joke about “long pork” I may forget my years of education, my excellent taste and refinement and set someone on fire. You have been warned."