Is Where Kinnavieve Is (Temporarily) Speachless

Aieee....

Urmmm....

Nyuhh....

Guhg....

Myuh....

What in the FRICKIN' HELL you got me wearing now, Ratters??!?

I'm a Soldier of the Light, and yet I look like a Shadow-cursed floozie for pervs with really sicko fantasies! How is this and this supposed to keep out all the sharp pointy thing? I don't care how good the stats are, you find me some armor that looks like ... like ... like armor!

Grrrrrrr.

Mutter mutter frickin plate armor of the horny virgin fanboys mutter Ratshag’s usually inappropriately-dressed female paladin, my ass mutter mutter mutter frickin Blizz mutter ima gonna break someone's frickin' jaw mutter mutter...

And Corki? Get your damn tongue back in your mouth!

Blackmail? What Blackmail?

Did I make any demands? No

Did I name names? No

Did I allow meself ta be preempted? Yup

Did I think said preemption were clever and amusifying? Hell yeah.

Do I think getting carried away in the spirit of seeing an amazingly vivacious long-legged woman all covered in a fine sheen of sweat and zombie splatter is a legitimate reason fer ta throw years of training and discipline to the wind and go wading inta hand-ta-hand combat at her side, swinging yer own axe of uberosity? Course I does

Does I buy what the crossbow wore out? Not really. Me ranged weapons never wear out. But is a good effort nonetheless

Is BRK still me favorite hunter what ain't got hooves? Absotively

Now that we's got that momentary rumpus out of the way, we can all goes on.

And the rumor what I's gonna post screenshots of Vonya runnin' around in ZA with a Terestian's Stranglestaff equipped, just 'cause the tentacles stroked her horns in that special way she likes, unless she sends 5000 unmarked gold coins ta me mailbox? Totally untrue.

Is Where Alayda Gets A Gourd

'Ello mon!

I always like doin' da holiday events, an' dis Hallow's End t'ing was right up mah ally. Good gracious, chile, I didn't go summon up dat Headless Horsemon in de graveyard - dat would be too spooky for a free spirited troll like dis here. No mon, I wen and talked to dem innkeepers and said "Trick or Treat, mon?" And some times dey say "Boo!" and I'd go "Eeeeee!" and den dey turn me inta a cat or bat or pirate (Yarr!) for a bit, and dat was great fun. And sometimes dey give me bag wit' some goodies, an' dat was great fun too. I got masks and candy and magic wands, and den dis one time I got a pumpkin.

A pumpkin, mon, I not lyin'! So I says, Alayda, you take dis here pumpkin ta da Mouse, she bake us up a delicious pie using dat secret family recipe of hers. And den mon, you know what happen? Dat pupkin opened it's eyes. And den it grew legs! And it sarted ta follow me around. So I says "Pumpkin, dis here be yo lucky day - if you can keep up wit' me raptor, you gets ta stay outta da pie pan." And dat pumpkin, he's doing it, so now I got me a special holiday souveneir pet, and I'm pretty happy 'bout dat, mon.



Dis ain't got nothin' ta do wit' da pumpkin, but I just wanted ta show off mah new hair stylings.


Okey-dokey, mon, dat be all. Bye-bye now!

Blackmail Is Such An Ugly Word

But young Kinnavieve done managed ta get herself a screenshot of a world-famous expert-type adventurer / blogger engaged in a Questionable Activity. What to do, what to do?

Is Where Palintera Gets Busted

Pali, is there something you'd like to tell me?

Ummm... what do you mean, 'licious?

Well, you're taller than you were a few weeks ago, by about an inch. And you're definitely filling out that vest more.

Yeah, I wish. Hey, why don't we go over to Thousand Needles and-

Don't change the subject! I know you've been cheating on me!

No! Sweetie, I would never do that.

Liar! Squirrelz told me he saw you getting it on with- with ... quest givers!

But, it wasn't like that! I just, they, I mean, it was, only, you see, I mean, well, horseshoes!

Horseshoes?

Yeah! Uh huh, horseshoes!

Explain.

Well, you see, I was just poking around a bit, exploring some, and I came hear to Lakeshire, and these poor people are trying to rebuild their town after Mister Shag's dad and all those other orcs burned it down and ate half the people. And even though they've been working really hard for all these years and they just don't seem to be making any progress at all. And I just felt really sorry for them. And so when this one guy asked me to run over to Westfall to get some horseshoes, it seemed like the least I could do. And then, you see, the foreman, he needed his tools retrieved from the bottom of the lake, well, that was real easy for me to do. And there was the little girl who lost her necklace, and the florist whose garden was being wrecked by a big boar, and-

So, this was all just about helping the scrubs of Lakeshire.

Yeah! Uh huh! Pretty much. Well, kinda. Except for, you see, Hallow's End started, and the innkeepers? They all put out buckets of candy for when you go trick or treating, and well, the candy kinda gives out XP too...

Candy, huh? Two-timing me for candy.

Feralicious, I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out, I mean, I never meant to cheat on you, it's just, you weren't around and the candy was just there and I know I know I shouldn't have it was bad of me and I was weak and I'm so sorry sorry I'm sorry

Sorry, you say.

Well.

Hrrrm....

So, you got any Fel Taffy in that stash of candy?

Huh? Taffy? Um, yeah, sure, lots.

Well, give me some then. I'll pay you back later.

Well, okay, I mean, sure! Here! Take some. Take all of it!

Mmmmm this is good. So, shall we go check out Thousand Needles?

Yeah! Super! That'd be great! Um, is the taffy your favorite? 'Cause I go other stuff - G.N.E.R.D.S. and-

Naw, my favorite Hallow's End candy is Palintera. But I already got me some, and I'm saving that for later.

Stormspire

Stormspire. The farthestmost community in Outland. As "out there" as you can get. Some come here for adventure. Some come out of a sense of duty. Some come for glory. 

Me? I came for the candy.

The Purge Comes Forth

The call had gone out, and the Purginistas had responded. To the Graveyard! To vanquish the Horseman, once and for all. There was Zinzi Who Gives Good Resurrection, and Thottle looking spiffy in his epic goggles, and Aelion the cheeky Blood Elf, and Rimunathah with his fireballs set to deep fat fry, and little Tantria and growed up and in her 70th season (yeah, she finally did catch me), and Mister Hoof, and Bullvyne, and young Bashabil, only in her 65th season but eager to do her part. Grumpy old Tarsius set down his hoe and pruning shears and water pipe and left his herb garden to join us. And even Ungarosh, reclusive Ungarosh, came dowm from the hills of Mulgore and put his clothes on, rather than let his comrades down. And of course me, the orc, anchoring the line and laying down the threatanizations.

(At least, I assume Ung put some clothes on. Hard ta tell with them boomkins...)

It were the greatest assemlage the guild had seen since the Dark Portal opened, maybe even the greatest ever. Granted, there were rust on some of the armor, and poor Throttle had trouble remembering which end of the sword ta hold (poor bugger's mind is really going, just like his elbows), and Mister Hoof were desparately thumbing through his spellbook looking fer Chain Healing. But we had our candles and we had fire in our eyes and in our bellies and wherever else ya can have a fire (femoral arteries? buggered if I know) and we Would Not Be Denied.

We challenged that Headless Huggernumper ta come forth, and then we put his Headless Arse down. 

And when it were done, we looted the bugger fer all he had on him. There was rings aplenty, and several flying brooms. Tantria got herself a sinister squashling fer ta follow her around and trade rude comments with her imp. And me? I got me his sword, glowing orange with built-in pumpkin soldier action.

It were a glorious evening. Will we hold together to vanquish more villianies, or will we once again go our separate ways? I does not know. But I does know what I's gonna remember this glorious evening, and cherish it always.