Is Where Fink Gets A Theology Lesson

When scripted interactions gets a little old an' stale, an' there ain't no flubbernuggin' fast-forward button, well, then, ya gots fer ta make yer own freshness.

"Deserve"'s Got Nuthin' Ta Do With It

We heroes, we done hunted down the Betrayer, the Lich King, the Destroyer. We's saved the world time an' again. They build statues fer ta honor us even, sometimes.

Do we deserve it?

Like Will Munny, I's killed women and children. I's killed everything what walks or crawls at one time or another. I's slaughtered not onlies them what stood against me, but they's children, they's parents, whoevers were hidin' in them houses and huts in Hillsbrad an' Windyreed Village an' an' Bladespire an' Skorn. I may not've seen'em, hidin' in the shadows, but I heard they's screamin' as they's homes burned down around them. Me hands is thoroughly drenched in blood, and they ain't never gonne be clean.

An' you buggers is no different.

Why we done these things? Because we come from a people what be teeterin' on the edge of extinction after the wars of the past decades, and we's gonna be damn sure if someone goes over the edge it'll be them an' not us. We do it 'cause lives is cheap an' food an' beer ain't, so we do what thems what be payin' us asks fer.  We do it 'cause we's stone cold killin' machines.

Killin's the only thing what most of us was ever good at.

Over at WoW Insider, Anne Stickney be askin' if Garrosh deserves fer ta die. Mebbe. His hands be pretty fuhggin' bloody too. An' mebbe they's gonna get bloodier. But I ain't seein' what ya can say they's bloodier than us heroes' hands. Now, if'n someone pays us fer ta kill him, we'll kill him. 'Cause it's what we do, not because he's dirty an' we's clean.

"Deserve"'s got nuthin ta do with it.

Mebbe They Should Re-release The Movie In 3D With A CGI Alien

The readers done spoken, and Bart Simpson convincingly done smacked down ET, 78 ta 39.

This time around we gots a three-way goin'. Is up in the sidebar, as per usuals.

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Kalishna: Abs Of Saronite

Kali don't contribute much ta the blog - when ya gots the personality of the Terminator's little sister, writing don't come natural. But she do be a solid member of the Team, handlin' our Horde-side inscription an' jewelcuttin' needs, an' doin' her share of killin' bad guys 'cause the good guys pay her to. An' like the rest of us she wanted fer ta put tagether a moggin' outfit what said "this is me", where "me" in this case done means "heavily muscled killin' machine".

Ya can mebbe see why Kalishna be a girl after me own heart.

So anywho, here be what she come up with. Is got a lotta ties ta the traditional Acherus Death Knugget get up, but also branches out a bit fer ta make it more personals.



Head: Acherus Knight's Hood
Shoulders: Blood-Soaked Saronite Plated Shoulders
Chest: Ornate Mithril Breastplate
Gloves: Bloodbane's Gauntlets of Command
Back: Worn Stoneskin Gargoyle Cape
Waist: Jouster's Girdle
Legs: Ornate Mithril Pants
Feet: Greaves of the Slaughter
Weapon: De-Raged Waraxe

Suffer well.

MOG ALL THE HELLREAVERS

Just discovered what beer-specced monks (is the tanking spec) is gonna be ables ta equip polearms. Means the glorious Hellreaver, which I feared were gonna be lost in the transmogalypse, may survives after all. Means also what I could has a tankin' team member what looks kinda like this:

Yeah, I'd be down with that.

"This One Goes To Eleven, You Ungrateful Bitches"

"Whyfuhg would you want more than eleven character slots? Who would want fer ta roll a Tauren monk and a Pandaren warrior on the same server? That's crazy talk. Just make yer damn orc a panda, or delete that damn blood elf paladin what ain't 85 yet. Do you realize what it takes a lotta work fer ta change that max character setting? Be gratefuls what we did it. Okay, yeah, it wouldnta taken any more work ta make it 12 or 20 or 50 while we was doin' it, but yer missin' the point.

"Seriouslies, none of us developers has more'n three characters anywho. We cain't imagine why anyone would have ten. But we's gonna make it eleven. So quit complainin' and go rejoice, like WI sez to."

Thrall, I Loves Ya, Bro....

... but Hour of Twilight would done go a lot faster if'n ya'd just buy yerself the damn wolf alreadies.

Call Of C'thun

Has it ocurred ta anyone what the real purpose of LFR, where a larger number of heroes done comes in contact with the Old Gods' most powerful minion than evers before, every damn week, is ta grind down our SAN points until we all goes stark fuhggerbelly crazy?

I mean, seriouslies, pwhn'guul i ghawl'fwata ryiu wgah uul'gwan h'iwn guu'lal. Pwhn'guul i ghawl'fwata ryiu wgah uul'gwan h'iwn guu'lal.

I Loves Fer Ta See A Friend Get Loot

Is big hairy Congo Rats ta Dechion.

Colossal Dragonplate Helmet

Because bein' able ta see wherefuhg yer goin' is for the weak.

Just Another Day On An RP Server

It ain't all "Yar Yar Hump Hump" fun and games. Sometimes a bugger done gets eaten.

Better Than A Set Of Level 80 Greens Anyday

There's been some gnashings of the teeth overs the new Scroll of Resurrectifyin'. Specificallies, the fact what thems what left the game an' now come back get theyselves boosted ta they's 80th season, with some gear an' bags an' a mount an' a free upgrade ta Cataclysm. How come the loyal veterans what never left ain't gettin' a reward, they asks?

Well, here be just a quick sample of all what I got fer playin' these past few years. Thems what left ain't gettin' none of it. Not the memorable first kills, not the shit buggers said, not the weird-arsed bugs, not the glory, not the pain. Time done moved on. Way I see it, I already got me rewards. An' I wouldn't trade'em fer nuthin'.

And this ain't even showin' the best thing of all what happened....

Don't Have A Cow Phone Home, Man

Been a while since we done a new poll. Last time out, Scrappy Doo solidly defeated Jar Jar Binks, 72-28, conclusively provin' what nobody likes neither of them. This time we gots a coupla vertically challenged troublemakers from the 80s. They even kinda look alike. Well, they's eyes, anywho. Poll be in the sidebar, as usuals.

Mebbe This Be Why His Name Is Maurice....

Get Your Sexy Name

Then And Now: Ratshag

So, in that "Then and Now"post I just did, I had a picture of me as a scrawny little orcling just startin' fer ta make his way out inta the strange an' mysterious world, and a picture of me as I be today, all grizzled and veteranized. But how did I done gets from then ta now? I's so glad you buggers asked. Allow me fer ta show ya with this here summary of the past five years....

Me first pauldrons. Neverminds what they was nuhin' but a coupla fistfuls of feathers, they meant I were gearin' up and goin' places.

The Whirlwind Axe. Meant I were a true warrior. Paladins and shammies no can haz.

Fourtieth season meant no more sore feet fer Ratters. Don't ride ol' Fang too much no mores, but he do got a comfy den down at the stables, with room ta run an' plenty of elf kibbles.

The Truesilver Champion. Was a sword, not an axe, but I made it meself and it were a damn good weapon. Got me through some tight scrapes an' inta Outland.

Got me some Outland gear here. Unfortunatelies, all the thorium were back in places like yeti-infested Winterspring so's I needed fer ta keep comin' back until I got me minin' and smithin' skills up high enough. That were a right pain.

Epic flyin'. Took a lotta minin' fer ta pay fer that, I tells ya - no dailies back in them days. This were also durin' the Great Orc Shoulder Armor Smallification Bug summer. Great googly moogly what a horridosity. I mean, just look at how small they is. Took Blizz months fer ta finally fix it.

The Helm of Evil Laughter. First Edition. Accept no substitutes.

Was a time fer me when just managin' fer ta get 3/5 of a set were a big fuhggin' deal. Yeah, they was blues, not epics, and yeah they dropped in normal-mode dungeons. So hell what? They was set pieces.

The Purge kinda went on hiatus afters we stopped the Time Fuhgger Dragons from interferin's with Medivh openin' the Black Portal an' bringin' in the orcs fer ta help film "Spring Break: Stormwind". So I hadda go find me own funs where I could.

Me first date with Jaina Proudmore. What a night.

The great Outland clown tankin' set. Mothers would cover they's children's eyes when I walked down the street wearin' it. Wimmenz wept an' Blood Elf paladins wet theyselves. Someday I's gonna finish reassemblin' it and unleash the Transmogalypse Prime.

Musta been a helluva party.

Tryin' out a new look.

Rash of the Itch King landed, and I's wearin' new gear. New gear is always good.

Reached me eightieth season, an' decided it were time fer ta setle once an' fer all who were the biggest baddest fluggernudder in Azeroth.

Yay holiday.

Me an' Throttle, all sombreroficated.

No more clown outfits in Northrend. I were a tough-arsed junkerdubber, and me gear showed it.

'Course, I still had me dainty side too.

The Purge done became a bonerfied raidin' guild by the end of the Rash, clearin' Naxx onlies a year-and-a-half afters it were outdated content.

Epicced out. Strange new lands seen. Exotic wimmenz met. Fortune made. It were time fer ta go back ta teh Barrens, buy me that kodo ranch, throw me booterang at me peons, and enjoy the fruits of me labor in a nice, comfortables, quiet retirement.

Then a certain dubberglucker drove a volcano through it.

Back ta the lfe of an adventurer. New gear, new experiences, new ... new .... it's so pretty....

Eighty-fifth season and I's startin' ta get a new set of epics. Tyrande were most excited fer ta see them.

Yay new title.

Raidin' with Black Leather Undies were damn fun, while it lasted. We was the consummate professionals. Prot paladin and prot warrior in front, death knugget with a rollin' pin in back.

And with the comin' of the Transmogalypse, we's caught up to today. And that concludes this here stroll down memory lane. Be sure ta drop yet 3-D glasses in the bins provided as you exitifies.