Ratshag: We likesh ta talk big... vampires do. "I's going to destroy the fuhggin' world." That'sh just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with your friendsh over a pint of blood. The truth is, I like this world. You's got...armadillo racing, Mancheshter Unitified....hic! And you've got peoples. Billions of peoplesh walking around like fluggernubbin' Happy Meals with legsh.
Danger Mouse: Blood isssh life, lackbrain. Why do you think we eat it? It's what keepss you going. Makessh you warm....hic! Makes you hard. Makessh you other than dead.
Alayda: Dracula? Dat poncy bugger owe me 11 pounds, mon, for one t'ing....hic!
Phoenicia: If every vampire fa shaid he was at th' crucifixion was actually thaur, it woods hae bin loch Woodstock. Ah wash actually at Woodstock. 'at wash a weird gig. Ah fed aff a flower bodie, an' 'en Ah spent th' next a shcuttle hoors watchin' mah hain move.
Maurice: She wouldn't even kill me. She just left....hic! She didn't even care enough to cut off my head, or set me on fire. I mean, is that too much to ask? You know?...hic! Some little sign that she cared?...hic!
Kinnavieve: I love shyphilis more than you.
Puffin: Have we met?...hic!
Noggle: You hit me with an ax one time. Remember? Uh, 'Get the hell away from my daughter!'
Puffin: Oh. Right....hic!
Gigglesmash: That's right ...hic! I'm back, and I'm a bloody animal! *giggle* (dammit....hic!)
Creighton: I may be love'sh bitch, but at leasht I'm man enough to admit it
The Warrior With No Name: I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monshter. But you treat me like a man. And that'sh...Get your stuff. I'll be here.