Monday, November 24, 2014

At Least Khadgar Done Gots Chicken

So, them history books is all gonna talks about the heroic campaign where a few brave souls done led a couragified assault through the Dark Portal against them Iron Hordies. But them history books, they's usually more interesteds in tellin' a good story than in reportin' the less-than-beautifuls truths sometimes. Here be how it really went down:

Ratshag: OK guys goin' through this portal done always caused us troubles in the past. Does anybody realies want to go through? Or can we just seal it off from the outside?

Kinnavieve: I think Khadgar wants to quest in there.

Ratshag: Bugger wants XP? Ain't he alreadies boss level?

Kinnavieve: Yes, but he wants better transmog gear. His selfies will get more likes.

Ratshag: Bugger me with a chainsaw....

Ratshag: Okay, what we'll do is, I'll runs in first. Gather up all them orcs. We can kinda just blast them flubbernuggers all down. I's gonna use Intimidating Shout fer ta kinda scatter them so we ain't gotta fight a whole bunch of them alls at once.

Ratshag: I's gonna need Goblin Hunter Boy (by night known as Fezziwhig) ta frost trap them gronns. Keeps 'em back, not haveta fight too many at once.

Ratshag: When he done done that, Creighton needs fer ta run in an' Frost Nova them ogres.

Ratshag: We's gonna establish a perimeter, pull the glubbernubber Warsongs in, so's we can AoE, so's we can get 'em down fast. 'Cause we's bringing all these guys. I means, we's gonna be in trouble if we cain't get 'em down quick. I thinks what it be a pretty good plan, should gets us in there jus' fine.

Ratshag: Whatcha think, Mouse? Can ya gives me a number crunchification real quicks?

Danger Mouse: I'm coming up with 32.33, repeating of coursse, percentage of sssurvival.

Ratshag: Is a lot better than we usually does. All right you buggers, thumbs up, let's fuhggin' do this-

Khadgar: For AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZEROTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ratshag: Oh fuhg, he just ran in!

Various voices:

Save him!

Oh sweet Elune!

Stick to the plan!

Oh sweet Elune let's go let's go!

Stick to the plan, stick to the plan!

Oh bugger - oh fuug. Do Frost Block!

Hurry up!

It's on cooldown!

I can't move! I can't move!

What the hell?

Don't let Guldan out, it'll close the Portal!

By the Light!

I don't think you can cast with that shit.

Oh my god.

Well don't let him go!

Gods dammit Khadgar, gods dammit!

Khadgar you moron.

I'm trying. It's not my fault.

Who's got a hearthstone? We do have a hearthstone back ta Pandaria, don't we?

Oh crap. Oh for-

Khadgar: At least I have chicken


Grimmtooth said...


Derrill Guilbert said...

That's definitely the same experience I had.