Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Rambling Through Azhara

So, I's in old Azeroth the other day, and I bumped inta me old friend, The Fallen Hero of the Horde. Poor bugger's stuck as a ghost on the border of the Swamp of Sorrows and the Blasted Lands, which were as far as he made it when his mission ta reinforce Stonard went down the crapper. Since then, he's been stuck there warning young adventurers not ta head into injun country, and handin' out hip flasks ta fiftieth season warriors.

Anywho, he has a sad, 'cause his lootenants is still stuck workin' fer a demon in the Blasteds. So he asks me fer ta go ta Azhara ta get some blind night elf ta helps. Why go across the world? 'Cause it's vanilla! Try ta keep up here, peeps.

So off I goes ta Azhara. Strange fuhggin' place, I tells ya. Here's some samples of what all I saw there.

Now, them high elves was a buncha crazy-arsed, no-clue-what-they-was-doin', demon-summoning flupperthumpers, but they did know they's architecture. Drop me house in the ocean and leave it there fer ten thousand year, I's bettin it won't still be standing.

Big fuhggin' dead blue dragon, walkin' around. Wouldn't stop fer more than a few seconds ta talk at me. Said he done had stuff ta do. Sorries, dude, wouldn't want fer ta delay ya from the very important task of still being dead or nuthin'.

Somewhere alongs the line, I gets a job fer ta pick up cliff giant poop. Lucky me. Now, most of the times this poop looked like, well, a pile of blue rocks. But sometimes it were lookin' like a statue of a dude. Great googly moogly, that musta hurt comin' out. And then I notices what one of these statues done be holding a letter. Heh. Sucks ta be him!

When I's done, the elf dude tells me fer ta deliver the giant poop ta another old friend, Galvan what Inducted me inta the Mithril Order way back when I were a little blacksmithling. "Dude!" he sez. "You brought me a big bag of giant shite! You the man!" Anytime, ya crazy hermit bugger. He even gave me credit towards me Loremaster of Kalimdor achievement, even though he's in the Eastern Kingdoms. Geographies never were Galvan strong suit - is prolly why he's alone in the jungle.

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