How 'Bout Them Apples?

Oopsies. Turns out old Galgar back at the Valley of Trials been waiting fer me ta bring him some apples fer over three years now. Sorries about that, bro. I tries ta be more prompt next time. And thanks fer the Cactus Apple Surprise, and that rockin' +2 Stam buff. Oh, and spirit too! Hot dang. I gonna save'em fer me next raid.

Is Where Ratters Boosts His Google Hit Numbers

Jaina Proudmoore pictures naked porn

Now excuses me, while I sits back and see how many pervs I can snares with this one.

Good thing Jaina's a sport about all this.

Is Where Vyprania Is A Trendsetter

Well, buggers is runnin' all around Azeroth with they's Charm Collector's Kits, ripping pieces off of everything they kill lookin' fer bits they can use fer ta make charm bracelets fer the powers what be. Now, I can see Varian or Sylvanas goin' fer such doodads, but to Tyrande Whisperinyerear really want a bracelet made of wolvar teeth and murloc toes? I dunno; power do weird things ta buggers.

I gots ta say, though, that the idea of turnin' pieces inta jooleries ain't a new one. Vyprania be the team's grand master joolcrafter on the Alliance side, and she been doin' such fer a long time. See them three danglies hangin' off her left ear? Yeah, they's all pretty what with the gold and thorium figglries and the black pearls, but when she started they was the index fingers of Noth, Gothik, and Grand Slam Faerlina. That necklace Phoenicia's wearing? Made from Hakkar the Soulflayer's toothies. Prince Keleseth's thighbone got scrimshawed down inta some real purdy chopsticks fer me ta eat me Chineses with. Galertruby shoots craps with dice carved from Keli'dan the Breaker's broken skull. In a different style, Vyp's got Moragg's big middle eyeball all shrunken and preservified and encased in plastics hangin' from a chain on her right ear. This bein' a family blog and all, would be impropers fer me ta tell ya where Ellspeth wears Instructor Razuvious' similarly treated 'nads.

So, go pry the teeth outta that dead ghoul and make yer bracelets fer yer 'chievements. Just keep in mind ya can put a little more efforts inta it and get ya something really unique.

How It Really Went Down

Not-Yet-Dead King: I'm not dead yet.

Living Paladin: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.

Dead King: Well, he will be soon. He's very wounded.

LP: I can't announce victory with him like that. It's against regulations.

N-Y-D K: They used saronite bombs to exploit an in-game mechanic. I think I'll go for a walk.

DK: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?

/hotfix
/72-hour ban
/Not-yet-dead King dies

LP: No king, no king, la la la la la la...

DK: Idiot! There must be a king! Otherwise the restless Scourge will be an even greater threat to this world. Control must be maintained. Otherwise they might go bar-hopping with that hooligan Ratshag and his friends. Go rhino-tipping in the Borean Tundra. Run Freya's panties up the flagpole! There must always be .... a Lich King.

/ominous music

LP: This means I get to be king? Cool!

Dead Paladin: Oh hell no! I got poisoned, I got burned by that big red bitch, Kinnavieve ran of with my shield, I got this really wicked "Flame on!" action here - I should be king!

LP: Dude, you want some ointment or something?

DP: No, just gimme the crown.

LP: Oh, okay

/crown on Dead Paladin's head

DP: Sucker! I mean, uh, go tell them that the Lich King is dead.

LP: All right. Say, do you mind if we do this again, only with more, like, gravitas? I want to Fraps it.

DP: No one may know what was done here today!

LP: Oh, don't worry, it's just for my personal use. Not like it's going to end up on YouTube or anything.

DP: In that case, sure. Not-yet-dead king, you want to take it from the top?

N-Y-D K: Father! Is it.... over?

Dwarven Cursing

Yeah, i got no fuhggin' clue what she were sayin' neither. But Kinna said she sounded 'frickin pissed'.

Is Where Maurice Finds A New Interest

Well, hello there, my sweet little apple blossom. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Maurice, the Death Knight of Looove, and I am preparing a Heart Strike just for you.

Morani? What a lovely little name, for such a lovely little person. Did you know it sounds like "moron"? Ha ha, it is to laugh. I made a joke, did you not see? Now you must laugh too.

Oh, so you have heard of me? I am not surprised, for the ladies, they do talk. No doubt, many who have swooned from my overwhelming presence have gone home to tell their friends. They discuss how wonderful it would be to possess me, do they not? Perhaps some yearn for something delightfully outré, such as a ménage à cinq, or perhaps even à sept? Ho ho, they are so delightfully naughty.

You are a paladin, I see. It is a noble calling is it not? I was once a paladin. Maurice, the Paladin of Looove they called me, the scrumptious ladies of Lordaeron, and oh how the swooned as I walked past. I wore glorious armor, and wielded a mighty sword.... Ah-ha, but I do still wield a mighty sword. No doubt you are anxious to see it.

Ah, so it is Kinnavieve has mentioned me to you? Yes, my jaw has healed nicely, thank you. Such a feisty vixen, that one. So full of energy and a zest for life. Clearly she wishes me to pursue her more, but I am too cunning for such a simple game. No, I am biding my time, laying a trap, waiting for her needs and urges to become so great that she must needs come to me.

She has been training you to be a Soldier of the Light too? Ha ha, that is noble of her. But my sweet little nectarine of passion, you are a dwarf! You are too short to be a soldier! And it is a hard, cold life. Come, let me carry you off to my bunker of love, where you will rest on silk sheets, and smoke the finest hashish in the hookah, and I will teach you how to use your tongue to-

**WHAM**

-a- a -i-e -i-, -y -e-i----u- -e-u-ia. -o -o- -o--y, -y -a- --a-- -ea- -oo-, a-- --e- -e -a- --ay --e -a-e a-ai-! Au -e-oi-!

Is Worth ... I Dunno ... A Whole Buncha Thousand Wordses

Here be some pics of what Team Ratshag and our frinds been up to the past few months. Feel frees ta make up yer own stories.

Yeeeeeeee-haaaaaaaaaw!!!!!!
Army of the Dead. The Scarlet Crusade's worst nightmare.

Hell yeah I'm checkin' out her boobs. What'd ya expects?

Unannounced visitors. Preparations must be made....

I pimped my ride.

Bloodied Arcanite Reaper HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Team Suptail gets its first member to the level cap!

Is like half the Persians.

Morani, Queen of the Ogres

Buffing up for the Illidari Council.