Friday, September 30, 2011

Friday Night Drunken Singings Featuring Galertruby And Al'Akir

[Guitar intro. You buggers know the one.]

Agghla gah, argl ghlaggha gha
Lagghal aggahr galahhla.

BUT I'M ALL RIGHT NOW, IN FACT, I'M A GAS
BUT I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M JUMPIN' JACK FLASH,
I'M A GASH GAS GAS ...hic!

Ghagglha gaharrgh glha agglahg,
Allhagla gahrl glallgahagl lahgl. ...hic!

BUT I'M ALL RIGHT NOW, IN FACT, I'M A GASH ...hic!
BUT I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M JUMPIN' JACK FLASH,
I'M A GAS GAS GAS

Aghlahhl glarrh ghalrlhh alhhrga
Gallhr glah garrahhalglar
Agrhh glagglha gha ghrallhalha ...hic!
Gha gha gha!
Aglh aglha gallh gahll gahrrallah.

BUT I'M ALL RIGHT NOW, IN FACT, I'M A GAS
BUT I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M JUMPIN' JACK FLASHH,
I'M A GASH GASH GASH


[sound of empty bottle rolling across the floor]

SHO.... DID WE GET THE GIG? ...hic!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Is Where Jaina Hacks WoW

I take it you've picked up a new Polymorph glyph, Jaina.

Yup! It's just a minor one.

I.... I'm surprised Blizzard let this one loose in Azeroth.

Oh, I've got some of the best dataminers working for me, Ratters. They find stuff that never even made it on to the PTR.

I see. You are such a naughty, naughty girl.

Hee-hee, I know. C'mere, you bad boy!

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

TRANSMOGALYPSE! Alayda - Deep Purple Currents

Many of us buggers at Team Ratshag is all excitified abouts the possibilities in the upcoming Transmogalypse, and has been busy gatherin' ours outfits. Alayda done be the first fer ta have hers all finished, so here it be. Is mostly the recolored shaman T2 pieces what drop in Outland dungeons, but since whacking fluggernumpers while wearing a kilt be kinda awkward, she decided fer ta go with some pants. A couple shout-outs fer thems what helped: ta the lovely Tiz, what done been havin' all the lucks gettin' Corin Direbrew's tankards this year and were way generous with the sharings. And also ta the lovely Suptail, fer makin' the belt and pants.



What it be:
Head: Headdress of the Tides
Shoulder: Mantle of the Sea Wolf
Chest: Harness of the Deep Currents
Belt: Netherfury Belt
Legs: Netherfury Leggings
Boots: Wavefury Boots
Gloves: Fathomheart Gauntlets
Weapons: 2x Tremendous Tankards O'Terror

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I Ain't Nevers Gonna Understands Alliance

Why you buggers need fer ta build a shrine?

What fuhgg's wrong with just usin' one them bushes?

Is Where The Crisis In Academia Deepens

They's now havin' fer ta hire vegetations. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

"That Wasn't Flying!"

Buzz done used his little lightbulb what blinks fer ta take down the future star of Wrestlemania and Santa With Muscles, 62 ta 31. Not bad fer falling with style. Word is King Kong Bundy now wants a go at Woody the Cowboy (or possibly Mr Potatohead) but that ain't happenin' this week. This week we's goin' ta the birds.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Is Where The Searing George Gets Kinky



Apparentlies, nekkid spider punching now impressifies the Thorium Bros. Well, they's dwarves, they beats they's own drummers. Place sure has changed since I were in me forty-fifth season....


Anywho, I's exaltified now, which means a Nightfall fer the Transmogalypse. So that's a yay.

Do The Crab Even Play WoW?

In his interview with Tankspot, he done admits what the plan ta introduce epic gems will give blacksmiths with they's extra sockets a slight stat boost over all the other professions. I guess what since epic gems is gonna be availables ta raiders only first, they ain't gonna buff the other professions fer ta match. But is only a small boost, so they's okay with that. "I think the epic gems are like 10 stat points over the current ones, so it's a nice boost, but hopefully it won't push everyone towards Blacksmithing."


Yeah huh. Hopefullies a time machine'll go back ta 1941 and bring Jane Russell ta me bed tonight too, but I ain't gonna count on that one neithers. Seriouslies, Greg, you buggers surrendered unconditionally ta the min-maxers back in 3.0 - ya got rid of utility classes, ya gave every class a AoE, ya went with "bring the gogogo dps'er not the class", ya did pretty much everything but post yer mom's phone number on Elitist Jerks and rename the company "Third Republic Gaming." We all know dang near every progression raid's gonna end up with 10 or 25 blacksmiths in it, so man up and admit it.

And since yer handin' out goodies ta blacksmiths, where fuhg is me Flying Anvil Mount?

Sunday, September 18, 2011

This Be What Happens...

...When ya lets the Tiz design yer guild tabard. 


Great googly moogly, I don't like octopolusses. Blubberthubbers done got too many legs, and they's can squeeze through holes smaller than yer eye socket. And they's smart. Ain't natural. Buggers is plannin' fer ta take over the world or sumthin', believe you me you me. You.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Preparin' Fer The Transmogalypse

"Gotta has goals an' priorities, son, " me dad always told me. "You ain't got you some goals and priorities, I's gonna hit ya in the head with this shovel."

So here's some Gs an' Ps me and the Team gonna done be workin on:

Number the One: Get meself exaltified with the Thorium Bros

Number the Two: Farm the crap outta them cultists in they's cave in Searing George

Number the Three: Alayda needs fer ta bang on them TBC heroics. Especiallies the one with them spacedudes what give crappy gems.

Number the Four: Kinnavieve needs fer ta go to the opera and get culturfied

Number the Five: Keep searchin' fer Tyrant and Jade on the AH

Number the Six: Keep MogIt up ta date

Number the Seven: Do more Trial of the Grand Toothpicks dailies

Number the Eight: Pull every glubberfumpin' box outta the Team Ratshag Secret Headquarters attic and dump'em on the floor.

Number the Nine: Need More Battlegrounds

Number the Ten: Find a reddish orangish plate helm what don't make me head look fat

So, that's how we be gettin' prepared fer the transmogalypse. You buggers got some goals and priorities of yer own, or do dad need ta go get his shovel?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fel Orcs

Tasste like power.

Is Where Backs Are Stabbed

Peter Jackson (on the sset of The Return of the King: "So when he sstabs you in the back, I want you to sshout and flail and-"

Christopher Lee: "Peter. Have you ever heard a man when he is ssstabbed in the back?"

Peter Jackson: "Uh... no Chris, I haven't."

Christopher Lee: "Well, I have."

Me and Chrisss, we'd've been budss.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

She'd Have Gotten Away With It Too, If Not Fer Them Meddling Kids

Wow, was our closest poll ever, with several lead changes along the way. But in the end, the van with teenagers, a dog, and America's Top 40 done edged out a bus with Australian drag queens and Agent Elrond Smith - 68 ta 66. Is Congo rats all around.

This week we gots a superhero poll. Sorta.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Everyone's A Critic

So Kinna were running Dran of Team Suptail through Nexus while sportin' her new T12 chestpiece which be, well, a little long. Dran were less than impressed.

Me, I's just glad I ain't the one runnin' around trippin' on me hemline. When do moggin' be gettin' here?

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Shattering: Conclusion

Three days later, she opened her eyes. But she had not come back to me.

Too much damage to her brain, the healers of Gadgetzan told me. It could no longer hold her spirit, which had retreated to the Emerald Dream.Yet her body yet lived, tethering it to this world, where she belonged. And so she was trapped, stretched between two dimensions, unable to truly be in either. Was it my fault? If I had gotten her here sooner, if my amateurish attempts in the desert to heal the damage caused by the rock that struck her skull, would it have made a difference. Probably not, they told me, although they could not be sure. Would she ever recover? They could not say. Maybe. Possibly. Possibly not.

I held her in my arms and cried all night long. Once, she looked at me and blinked and almost smiled for a second, and then she went back to staring straight ahead, eyes unfocused.

The next day, the goblins presented me a bill. It was of course terrifyingly huge - several times what Feral and I had saved away. Fortunately, that afternoon, before they switched from polite requests to forceful demands, a courier arrived with a chest of gold from Ratshag. It was Mouse, but an unnervingly quiet and subdued Mouse. Things were bad, she told me. It wasn't just Feral and me who had gotten caught in what the world was now calling The Shattering. Orgrimmar had been burned. Deathwing had attacked Stormwind itself, and when Kinnavieve had tried to face him down she was horribly burned. Alayda had last been seen trying to hold back a huge onslaught of Twilight's Hammer cultists with the Earthen Ring in the Highlands, and the few reports back sounded grim. All communications with Northrend, where Jinnik and Kalishna were, had been broken. Even Thrall himself was missing and feared dead. Mister Ratshag, at least, was all right, and had just departed on an expedition with the Kor'kron to try to establish a foothold on some new islands that had been thrust up out of the ocean. What she didn't tell me until later, and what Mister Ratshag had instructed her never to tell me, was that the river of lava that had destroyed his ranch in the Barrens had destroyed most of the wealth he had accumulated over the years. The gold he had sent down to pay for Feral's treatments had come from hocking Ashkandi, his prized sword, that he had taken when he slew the dragon Nefarian. It, and a few other rare artifacts had been safe in the Consortium's void storage system. Had I known, I .... I .... I don't know. But I love him all the more for what he did for us. And yes, he was able to get his sword back. War pays well.

I took Feral back to Teldrassil. The druids there could nothing more for her - they could only confirm the goblins' diagnosis. She had no family to take care of her, and with the ferocious assault on Mount Hyjal I had no choice but to return to the fighting. But the Priestesses of Elune accepted her into their care, as they did with all those victims of these wars who had nowhere else to go. They keep her fed and clean and some days, when her spirit is somewhat closer to our world and she is active, they take her for short walks amongst the trees. I come back to visit her whenever there is a lull in the fighting. I would stay with her always, but my people are fighting for their survival now and I am needed. It tears me apart, but if our armies fail then Ragnaros' elementals will burn Teldrassil and everyone on it just for his amusement. Some days, when I visit her, it is almost as if she is back with me, only regressed to early childhood. She smiles at me and touches my face and giggles delightedly when I shift to my cat form. But somedays she just lies on her bed, unresponsive, staring at the ceiling.

There is nothing I can do for her. There is nothing anyone can do for her. Either she will heal someday, and come back to me, or she will not. Until them, nothing matters. Nothing changes.

Well, there is one thing I can change. I always thought 'licious was the strong one, and I was happy just to be able to help. She told me I was strong too, maybe stronger, but I could never see that. But I've been without her for eight months now, and I have learned that I am strong. That even though I miss her more than anything, I can survive on my own, and be strong. I have grown very strong indeed. 'licious, you'd be proud of me.I have fought our enemies on the slopes of Hyjal and pursued them to the depths of the Maelstrom. I have fought them in the dungeons of Tol Barad and the dark tunnels of Blackrock Mountain. And tonight, I am going to take my power and change one thing. It is a little thing, but it is important to me.

Hey, Big and Ugly! Three years ago my girl didn't like the way you were looking at her, and there was nothing we could do about it. Well, tonight, it's my turn to kick your ass!

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"



I miss you 'licious. Please get well and come back to me.




RL Avatar's note: Last year Blizzard shattered Azeroth. Volcanoes and earthquakes ripped the land apart, entire towns were wiped out, even the pillar that supported the world was broken. Yet it all happened behind the scenes, while the servers were down. We logged out one night, and when we logged in the next morning it was all over. What was the worst thing that happened to us players? Having to look for where they moved the Org AH to? I strongly believe that the gaming experience is enhanced when our characters are at risk, when they feel real pain, when they suffer real loss. So, since Blizzard denied that to us, I have tried to write some stories to explore and experience what it must have been like for this group of square pegs I am so fond of. They have suffered and lost, but there has also been humor and, in the end, some opportunities for payback.

Friday, September 9, 2011

"A True Warrior Forges His Own Axe"

Feels free fer ta skip this one. Is just me sortin' out where we stands and what be missin', specialies with all these young up-and-comin' team members. Plus, is gives me an excuse fer ta markup some HTML tablicicousness, what I enjoy 'cause it be me only programming skill.


ProfessionHorde
Sub-Team Ratshag
Alliance
Sub-Team Kinnavieve
AlchemyNonePalintera (85)
Max
BlacksmithingRatshag (85)
Max
Kinnavieve (85)
Max
EnchantingEllspeth (65)
350
Maurice (75)
494
EngineeringRatshag (85)
Max
Phoenicia (85)
441
HerbalismYugami (30)
156
Palintera (85)
Max
InscriptionYugami (30)
145
Phoenicia (85)
Max
JewelcraftingKalishna (75)
484
Maurice (75)
476
LeatherworkingDanger Mouse (58)
309
None
MiningAlayda (85)
Max
Kinnavieve (85)
Max
SkinningAlayda (85)
Max
Ratdorf (80)
450
TailoringGogmoth (70)
443
Ratdorf (80)
503

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Friendly Fire

Has ya ever watched a warrior tank doin' his job? Ain't the most excitin' thing ta see. He hits the bugger with his weapon. He hits the bugger with his shield. He shouts. Sometimes he done stomps his foot and either some lightning shoots out across the ground (contraries ta popular opinion, the lightnings ain't comin' out his arse), or some dust cloud shoots across the ground in front of him. Devestates done do a little swishy thing in the air too, but is pretty hard ta see and most folks prolly don't notice. I usuallies don't.

Pally tanks, they throw some fire on the ground and drop hammers of light on the bugger. Bear tanks, they do ... well ... bear stuff. DK tanks, they put fire on the ground and also worms. But overall, is not a whole lotta flash in tanking. I sez that's a good, 'cause what with the tank and the melee dps and the bad guys, is already gettin' confusin' and hards ta see what all be goin' on down in the scrum.

Now, I's noticed a trend what I ain't real happy about. Fer some classes, they's spells done been gettin' fancier and sparklier every dang expansion. Fer no particulars reason, far as I can see. Back in Rash of the Itch King, retributionators got they's Divine Storm. Hunters got Rain of Arrows. Rogues got Rain of Knives. Shaman got Rain of Frogs. DKs got that damn fuhggin' creepy thing what with the arms comin' outta the ground, and don't even get me started on Army of the Dudes. Great googly moogly what did that make a mess of the melee pile. Now, Blizz backed off on some of these, but in Cata they just cranked it up ta new heights. Lessee now...

Healers. Healers got all sortsa circles of happy they can throw on the ground now. I's all in favor of me healers gettin' useful tools, but dies they need fer ta look so much like all the puddles of nasty I ain't supposed ta stand in?

Mages. Sometimes mages throw out some big floaty fireball thingy what hangs around the bad dude and ... I dunno ... lasers him or sumthin'. Looks suspiciously like sumthin' I's supposed ta stay the hell away from.

Shadow Priests. Some mysterious shadowy figure starts tryin' fer ta sneak up on me, what be me response? Hells yeah I tries ta get aggro and tank the flupperbubber. 'Cept I can't, 'cause is just the shadow priest's shadow got loose. Like Peter Pan. Is seriously distractin'.

Elementary Shamans. Big circle of ground shakin' nastiness opens up right in front of me? All the instincts say step the fuhg back! Which of course would waste the whole point, since the glubberjudder would then take a few steps forward, and it all misses. Howevers, that ain't nearly so bad as:

Warlocks. BIG SWIRLY CIRCLE OF PURPLE DOOM! DO NOT TOUCH!!! WHAT'S ITS RADIUS? IS IT LIKE A LOTTA CRAP IN THIS GAME WHAT CAN KILL YA EVEN THOUGH YER SCREEN SWEARS YER OUTSIDE OF IT? HOW FAR BACK I GOTTA GET? Oh yeah, is a 'lock in the group. False alarm. Damn dirty 'locks....

Now, I expects if'n yer a serious player and is tankin' Z's every day or is doin' heroic raidin' like, ya know, all of the Blizz class designers, then you's gotten attuned ta these things and yer brain filters'em out somewheres between yer eyeballs and yer panic button. Me, I's tanked often enough and crazy enough where I gets a jolt of adrenilations but I's able ta stay focused on the task at hand. But I don't like'em, not one bit. Now, imagines yer some casual tank, or some poor bugger tryin' it fer the first time. All this sparkly pixel crap what ya gotta constantlies be figgerin' out "is this good sparkly pixel crap or bad sparkly pixel crap? Hope I don' figger wrong and get us all killed." Sound mebbe a wee bit stressful?

Now, why all these new spellification whizbang effects? Can the folks in the back, wigglin' they's little fingers, even see them all that clearlies? Me, I's pretty sure is mainlies a race between the design teams fer ta see who can done come up with the craziest, most far out, most colorful glowy thing fer they's dude. Just wait'll ya see what they's dreamin' up fer 5.0! Gonna confuse the everlivin' crap outta anyone within fifteen yards of the bad guy.

Is a good thing there ain't a shortage of tanks in this game or nuthin'.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Worgen With Ponies? Meh.

This means nuthin' ta me, one ways or ta other. Is a horse. /shrug

Now, teachin' Runnin' Wild ta them anklebitin' dwarves, that I support 100%!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

New Poll

Ninjas >> Vampire Hunters be the verdict, with John Quincy Adams handilies defeatin' the Sun King, 76 ta 40. Thankee ta everyones what participated.

This week we's goin' vehiculars. New poll up in the sidebar, as usuals.